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Cathy Comber Counselling

Cathy Comber Counselling Cathy is an experienced registered counsellor who, over 15 years, has guided and supported many adults and teens through their challenges.
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Cathy Comber Counselling

Couples counselling and relationship therapy in Remuera, Auckland

Book Cathy Comber in person or online
Cathy Comber, MCouns, PGDipCounsTh, PGDipBusiness (HRM), BCom, MNZAC

I’m Cathy Comber, a registered Auckland counsellor with a Master of Counselling and specialist professional development in couples therapy / counselling.

My speciality is counselling for partners and families experiencing repeated conflict, communication difficulties, emotional distance, loss of trust or changes in intimacy, and loneliness.

I help you, as a couple, or a family, in joint sessions or individually, to build healthy relationships that benefit each person. You're welcome in person, in a home environment with free parking, or online. Booking is easy.

Couples counselling can help any relationship

If your relationship doesn't feel right

When your relationship feels difficult, even everyday conversations can become exhausting. You might find yourselves caught in repeated arguments, feeling emotionally or physically distant, struggling to rebuild trust after a betrayal, or silently wondering whether your relationship can change. You may experience loneliness right next to the person you love.

You don't have to continue to feel stuck

It can be difficult to know what to do next. You may know that something needs to change, but not know how to change things — or even whether staying together is the right choice.

Benefit from support and guidance

Sometimes having someone professional alongside you can help you slow things down, understand what is happening between you, and find a way forward.  

There may be one of three relationship goals that can become your counselling focus.

Help both of you change

Your goal might be to change your relationship — helping you both develop new ways of understanding, responding and relating to each other, and to strengthen intimacy and connection.

Figure out what next

You may need space to decide what you want — to explore whether staying together or separating is right for you. And if you are not in a relationship, how to increase your chances to get into a successful relationship.

Separate with respect

Alternatively, you may be looking for support to separate and transition with care and respect, honouring the part of the relationship that held you together.

Take time to reflect and consider your relationship from a fresh perspective. You can begin to see new possibilities for moving forward.

Explore how couples therapy and relationship counselling helps

Break unhelpful conflict patterns

Understand why the same arguments keep happening—even when neither of you wants them to—and learn practical ways to interrupt cycles of criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal.

Nurture emotional & physical intimacy

Talk openly about sex, affection, connection, and differences in needs, identifying and resolving what may be getting in the way of true closeness.

Improve communication & feel heard

Create a respectful space where both partners can speak openly and listen with real empathy, discussing difficult subjects without conversations continually escalating.

Navigate major life transitions

Gain alignment and mutual support when adjusting to parenthood, changing roles, career pressures, or shifting priorities.

Rebuild trust & emotional safety

Work through past relationship hurts, address what has been left unsaid, and restore a sense of trust, closeness, and emotional security.

Gain clarity about the future

Explore ambivalence in a neutral setting so you can make thoughtful, informed decisions about your future—whether that means committing to rebuild your connection or finding a healthy, respectful way to separate.

Keeping a healthy balance between self-care and nurturing your relationships is crucial for overall well-being and fulfilment in life.
Relationship counselling is for all significant relationships, including those with family and colleagues. So, whether you come as a couple, a family, or alone, we can have meaningful conversations that benefit your everyday life.

Not currently in an intimate relationship? Or part of a family needing support?

Learning for the future

You don’t have to be in an initmate relationship to benefit from relationship counselling. If you want to understand your relationship patterns, learn from past experiences or feel more prepared for a future relationship, counselling can help.

Using a relational lens

A couples and relationship specialist brings a relational lens — not an individual lens. This helps you understand yourself, and how your needs, coping styles and expectations interact with and differ from those of another person.

Focusing on you, with someone

The aim is to understand yourself in relationship with others, developing the capacity to build healthy, satisfying relationships while allowing each person to grow as themselves and remain connected.

Making the decision to work with me: your personal decision

You may be wondering whether I will understand what is happening between you, whether you will both feel heard, and whether I can genuinely help.
My approach is collaborative, respectful and without judgement.  I draw on specialist couples counselling approaches within a pluralistic framework, adapting the work to your unique relationship.

I have a strong no-blame focus, and won’t take sides or decide who is right. I will work with you to understand where you have become stuck, the patterns you have become caught in, what each of you needs, and what is possible from here.

Building rapport with your counsellor is an important part of successful counselling. Take the time to find a counsellor you feel comfortable with and who feels like the right fit for you.

I will bring my genuine self to our work, and I invite you to bring yours.  I am warm, authentic and naturally light-hearted, while also being comfortable sitting with difficult and serious conversations. 

I aim to create enough safety for you to be yourself: honest about who you are, what you need and what is happening between you.

The professional foundation behind my work

Just as important as my qualifications and experience is how I bring that knowledge into the room:
with warmth, curiosity, respect and a genuine interest in understanding you and your relationship.

I am a registered counsellor with a Master of Counselling and specialist professional development in couples and relationship counselling. My work draws on established approaches including the Couples Institute Developmental Model, Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Imago Relationship Therapy.

My earlier careers in senior management and the study of psychology, together with my professional specialisation in loneliness, bring a broader understanding of how people experience change, relationships and life transitions — and what helps us learn and adapt.

In addition to my private practice in Remuera, I co-founded the Loneliness NZ Charitable Trust, reflecting my deep commitment to helping people build meaningful connection and overcome emotional loneliness.

I am a member of the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC) and work within its professional and ethical standards. I continue to develop my knowledge and skills so that my work is informed by current thinking, research and professional practice.

My experience spans decades, across different professions and through my own life and counselling experience. This, alongside my qualifications and professional registration, provides the foundation for the work we do together.

Easy booking through an online calendar

Book a session

I welcome you to book your couples therapy/counselling sessions through my calendar – cathycomber.as.me – where you can immediately see my current availability.

  • In-Person Sessions: Held in a welcoming, private home setting in Remuera, Central Auckland—providing a quiet, confidential environment away from daily distractions.
  • Online Sessions: Flexible, secure video counselling for couples throughout Auckland and New Zealand, ideal for busy schedules or clients outside Central Auckland. 

If you still have questions, please see below for some frequently asked questions about couples therapy and relationship counselling. 

You are welcome to explore the rest of the website.

Frequently asked questions about couples therapy and relationship counselling

Q: How do we know if couples counselling is right for us?

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from counselling. If you’re experiencing recurring conflict, emotional distance, communication difficulties, loss of trust, intimacy concerns, or uncertainty about your future, counselling offers a supportive space to understand what is happening and consider what could change.

Not at all. Seeking counselling is never a sign of weakness, nor does it mean you or your relationship are “broken.”
Most of us were raised and taught to focus on our own individual needs. However, we are rarely taught how to put those needs into the context of another person—or how to integrate with a partner who has very different needs, coping styles, or perspectives.
When tension or disagreement arises, our natural survival instincts prompt us to protect ourselves first, often before protecting the relationship. This self-protection is a completely human response, not a personal failure.
Living in harmony with a partner isn’t an innate talent you either have or don’t have—these are practical skills and capacities that can be learned and strengthened. Counselling simply provides a structured, supportive space to develop those capacities together.

Individual relationship counselling is a valuable starting point when your partner isn’t ready. You can use individual sessions to explore your own relationship patterns, process your feelings, and consider your choices.
If and when your partner feels ready to join, we can discuss transitioning from individual sessions to joint couples counselling where both partners become equal clients.

Absolutely. Relationship counselling can help you process a breakup, understand your relationship patterns and prepare for future relationships.

Working with a specialist couples counsellor offers a perspective beyond individual self-improvement. We can explore not only “What can I change?”, but how your patterns, needs and ways of relating come together with another person—helping you take what you learn about yourself into a future relationship.

You don’t have to decide before beginning therapy. Counselling provides a neutral, non-judgmental space to explore your ambivalence, understand the history of your relationship, and make thoughtful, informed decisions about the future.

Experiencing unfaithfulness or a breach of trust causes profound relationship hurt and deeply impacts emotional safety. A “no-blame” approach does not mean excusing betrayal, minimizing pain, or avoiding accountability.
Instead, a no-blame approach means moving away from unproductive cycles of mutual accusation or debating who is right and wrong. Rather than staying stuck in judgment, we create a safe, structured space to speak openly, address what has been left unsaid, and understand the deeper dynamics of the relationship

What to do in case of a crisis and your life, or someone else's, is in danger

It’s crucial not to postpone seeking help until our first appointment. First, contact 111 or a crisis helpline immediately. Then, follow up with me.