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Cathy Comber Counselling

Cathy Comber Counselling Cathy is an experienced registered counsellor who, over 15 years, has guided and supported many adults and teens through their challenges.
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Cathy Comber Counselling

Couples therapist and relationship counselling in Remuera, Auckland

& Online across New Zealand

Book Cathy Comber in person or online
I’m Cathy Comber, a registered Auckland counsellor with a Master of Counselling and specialist professional development in couples therapy / counselling.

My speciality is couples counselling for partners experiencing repeated conflict, communication difficulties, emotional distance, loss of trust or changes in intimacy, and loneliness.

I help you as a couple in joint sessions, or individual, to understand relationship patterns, improve communication, and rebuild genuine connection.

If you are struggling to decide whether you want to stay together, I also support you in making informed, respectful decisions about the future of your relationship.

So, if your relationship doesn't feel right

When your relationship feels difficult, even everyday conversations can become exhausting. You might find yourselves caught in repeated arguments, feeling emotionally or physically distant, struggling to rebuild trust after a betrayal, or silently wondering whether your relationship can change. You may experience loneliness right next to the person you love.

Or you have had a significant change, transition or challenge 

Sometimes a particular event, change or turning point prompts you to look more closely at what is happening—or has been happening—in your relationship, and consider how you might move forward.

Your Relationship Doesn't Have to Stay Stuck

Sometimes positive change begins with simply having a different kind of conversation. You don’t need to have all the answers or everything worked out before seeking support. Counselling offers a space to understand each other better, move beyond questions of who is right or wrong, and look towards an outcome that works for both of you—whether that means staying together or separating amicably.

Whatever you decide for your relationship, you can develop a healthier way of relating — with greater understanding, clarity and respect for yourself and each other.

Explore how couples counselling helps

Break Unhelpful Conflict Patterns:

Understand why the same arguments keep happening—even when neither of you wants them to—and learn practical ways to interrupt cycles of criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal.

Nurture Emotional & Physical Intimacy:

Talk openly about sex, affection, connection, and differences in needs, identifying and resolving what may be getting in the way of true closeness.

Improve Communication & Feel Heard:

Create a respectful space where both partners can speak openly and listen with real empathy, discussing difficult subjects without conversations continually escalating.

Navigate Major Life Transitions:

Gain alignment and mutual support when adjusting to parenthood, changing roles, career pressures, or shifting priorities.

Rebuild Trust & Emotional Safety:

Work through past relationship hurts, address what has been left unsaid, and restore a sense of trust, closeness, and emotional security.

Gain Clarity About the Future:

Explore ambivalence in a neutral setting so you can make thoughtful, informed decisions about your future—whether that means committing to rebuild your connection or finding a healthy, respectful way to separate.

I provide a safe, compassionate, and non-judgmental space where both of you can gain a shared understanding of a healthy, long-term relationship.

Take time to reflect and consider your relationship from a fresh perspective. You can begin to see new possibilities for moving forward.

In our sessions, I encourage you to be yourself. You get the authentic me, which means you'll experience some lightheartedness alongside directness.

Couples counselling using an evidence-informed approach specific to you.

In our sessions, your relationship is central. We work collaboratively in a compassionate, no-blame environment where both perspectives are valued.
Together, we make sense of your shared history, explore what may be going unsaid, and develop a clearer understanding of the patterns that shape your relationship. We consider what each of you can do to foster meaningful and lasting change, while recognising that relationships develop over time and that both partners bring their own experiences, needs and ways of relating.

You benefit by an approach which draws on the Couples Institute Developmental Model, Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Imago Relationship Therapy, alongside psychology and research-informed understandings of how people learn, relate and change.

I work within a pluralistic approach, bringing together research, life and counselling experience in a flexible way. This means your counselling is tailored to your particular relationship, personalities, circumstances and goals, rather than following a one-size-fits-all model.

  • For Couples: Work together to resolve conflict, strengthen your bond, or gain clarity on decisions regarding the future of your relationship.
  • For Individuals: Explore your relationship patterns on your own, process a past breakup, or gain personal clarity when your partner isn’t ready to attend therapy yet.
  • For Families: Navigate complex family dynamics, resolve long-standing friction, and improve communication in a supported, respectful space.
Keeping a healthy balance between self-care and nurturing your relationships is crucial for overall well-being and fulfilment in life.
Relationship counselling is for all significant relationships, including those with family and colleagues. So, whether you come as a couple, a family, or alone, we can have meaningful conversations that benefit your everyday life.

Flexible to suit your needs

  • In-Person Sessions: Held in a welcoming, private home setting in Remuera, Central Auckland—providing a quiet, confidential environment away from daily distractions.
  • Online Sessions: Flexible, secure video counselling for couples throughout Auckland and New Zealand, ideal for busy schedules or clients outside Central Auckland. 

Easy booking through an online calendar

Book a session

I welcome you to book your couples therapy/counselling sessions through my calendar – cathycomber.as.me – where you can immediately see my current availability.

Building rapport with your counsellor is an important part of successful counselling. Take the time to find a counsellor you feel comfortable with and who feels like the right fit for you.

I’ll do all I can to help you feel relaxed telling your unique story. However, if you’re still wondering whether I might be the right counsellor for you, take some time to learn a little more about me. A brief introduction is below. Also see some of the other pages on the website which relate to My Story, and Our Approach. 

If you are unsure whether counselling is right for you, have a look at some of the frequently asked questions further down this page.

About Cathy Comber

I am a registered and qualified counsellor, with considerable experience in counselling and life in general.  My qualifications include a Master of Counselling, a Postgraduate Diploma in Counselling Theory, a Postgraduate Diploma in Business (Human Resource Management), and a Bachelor of Commerce, with two years of study in psychology.

In addition to my private practice in Remuera, I co-founded the Loneliness NZ Charitable Trust, reflecting my deep commitment to helping people build meaningful connection and overcome emotional loneliness.

My background combines postgraduate counselling qualifications with extensive (decades of) experience in human dynamics, ensuring ethical, grounded, and empathetic care.

As a Full Member of New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC), I am committed to ethical, accountable practice, regular professional supervision and ongoing professional development.

Frequently Asked Questions about Couples Therapy and Relationship Counselling

Q: How do we know if couples counselling is right for us?

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from counselling. If you’re experiencing recurring conflict, emotional distance, communication difficulties, loss of trust, intimacy concerns, or uncertainty about your future, counselling offers a supportive space to understand what is happening and consider what could change.

Experiencing unfaithfulness or a breach of trust causes profound relationship hurt and deeply impacts emotional safety. A “no-blame” approach does not mean excusing betrayal, minimizing pain, or avoiding accountability.
Instead, a no-blame approach means moving away from unproductive cycles of mutual accusation or debating who is right and wrong. Rather than staying stuck in judgment, we create a safe, structured space to speak openly, address what has been left unsaid, and understand the deeper dynamics of the relationship

No. In couples counselling, your relationship is central. My role is not to judge or take sides, but to ensure both perspectives are heard and understood while helping you identify and change the unhelpful patterns keeping you stuck.

Individual relationship counselling is a valuable starting point when your partner isn’t ready. You can use individual sessions to explore your own relationship patterns, process your feelings, and consider your choices.
If and when your partner feels ready to join, we can discuss transitioning from individual sessions to joint couples counselling where both partners become equal clients.

You don’t have to decide before beginning therapy. Counselling provides a neutral, non-judgmental space to explore your ambivalence, understand the history of your relationship, and make thoughtful, informed decisions about the future.

Absolutely. Relationship counselling can help you process a breakup, understand your relationship patterns and prepare for future relationships.

Working with a specialist couples counsellor offers a perspective beyond individual self-improvement. We can explore not only “What can I change?”, but how your patterns, needs and ways of relating come together with another person—helping you take what you learn about yourself into a future relationship.

Not at all. Seeking counselling is never a sign of weakness, nor does it mean you or your relationship are “broken.”
Most of us were raised and taught to focus on our own individual needs. However, we are rarely taught how to put those needs into the context of another person—or how to integrate with a partner who has very different needs, coping styles, or perspectives.
When tension or disagreement arises, our natural survival instincts prompt us to protect ourselves first, often before protecting the relationship. This self-protection is a completely human response, not a personal failure.
Living in harmony with a partner isn’t an innate talent you either have or don’t have—these are practical skills and capacities that can be learned and strengthened. Counselling simply provides a structured, supportive space to develop those capacities together.

What to do in case of a crisis and your life, or someone else's, is in danger

It’s crucial not to postpone seeking help until our first appointment. First, contact 111 or a crisis helpline immediately. Then, follow up with me.